An Ocean to Drown Your Shores
by pluckedwings
Summary: A languid story of how Hephaistion comes to terms with the then, and the now. Alexander is the root of his problem of course, always is and always will be. Alexander/Hephaistion with background pairings in pseudo-modern times.
1. a window is smashed at a gala

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**An Ocean to Drown Your Shores**

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Hephaistion, Alexander, Cassander, Drypetis, Roxanne, Ptolemy, Thais, etc.  
Alexander/Hephaistion, Cassander/Hephaistion, Hephaistion/Drypetis, Ptolemy/Thais, etc.

Watch out for: sex, consent issues, violence, threats of violence, and general terrible behavior.

...

The general plotbunny was: what if Alexander took over the world via corporation conglomeration in the modern world? The roundabout answer was: he would be impossibly bored, become an absolute asshole, and fuck around with Hephaistion a lot. This story, of course, looks at Hephaistion's side of things, but it's got a lot of Alexander anyways.

Pretty sure I'm a decade late (or possibly even centuries) to this party, but I'm here nonetheless! The universe of Alexander has always intrigued me and while I would love to write a fic when they're in their time and place, I think I'll stick with modernity as a first step. Also, thank you so much Destiny for your encouragement (and general egging on). This fic wouldn't exist without you.

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**01. a window is smashed at a gala**

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"Cassander, really?" Alexander growls, eyes flashing.

Hephaistion purses his lips, says nothing, and turns.

"Don't you walk away from me, Hephaistion Amyntorous!"

Hephaistion does just that.

...

"Who was that?" Cassander lies.

Hephaistion blinks, before lightly clinking their champagne glasses and pressing the rim to his lip.

"An ex," he replies, playing along.

"Oh? What did he have to say?"

"Nothing serious."

Cassander smiles, eyes dark and dangerous, and Hephaistion feels a thrill. He takes a sip then puts the glass on the table, throwing an arm around the other man's shoulders.

"Was he jealous," he asks, lips ghosting the shell of Hephaistion's ear.

The crash of glass against glass is answer enough.

...

He comes back to his apartment to find the door unlocked.

It could be carelessness, he knows. All the same, he makes certain to close it with extra emphasis, sprinting into the elevator and back into the parking garage.

There, parked so fastidiously in the corner that he didn't notice it the first time, is Alexander's car of choice.

So, he thinks, heart sinking, even this far away from the city-center is no good.

He drives and drives and drives into the night. Outside of the city limits and into the fields. He has identification and he has his wallet. In the whole country, he needs little else.

...

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	2. two men gossip in the countryside

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**02. two men gossip in the countryside**

...

"So this is where you've hidden away," Cassander says, looking up from the paper.

Hephaistion finishes his descend down the stairs, going to pour himself a cup of coffee before sitting down.

"It's pretty nice, I'll give you that. Quiet."

"Since when were you one for small talk?" the other man asks, raising an eyebrow.

Cassander rolls his eyes.

"Alexander is a wreck without you. Stop your spat and come back already."

Hephaistion purses his lips and then opens them. Cassander interrupts him, of course.

"No, I know what you're about to say. That you hate him for monopolizing you and that you're going to be your own man. Well, you can be your own man inside the city, not in this godforsaken village where the livestock outnumber men!"

Hephaistion closes his mouth.

"I took the words right out of your mouth, didn't I?"

And Cassander has such a shit-eating grin on his face that Hephaistion just _needs_ to wipe it off.

"Actually," he starts, downing the rest of the coffee, and leaning over to brush his fingers against the nape of the other man's neck, "I was going to tell you that there's a four poster bed upstairs and that I wanted you to fuck me raw."

Cassander freezes, stares at him, and swallows.

"You know you want to," Hephaistion says, meandering up the stairs.

And so, he does.

...

"Are you always this sensitive?" Cassander asks, genuinely impressed.

"It's only because - " a pause, a gasp, Hephaistion arches, fingers curling against his biceps.

They finish nice and slow, Hephaistion spilling against both their chests before collapsing against the other man. His pulsing cock still fills him, even if it's half-flaccid.

"You were saying?" Cassander prompts, pulling out.

"Nevermind," Hephaistion says, looking away.

Cassander catches him flushing however, and falls off the bed laughing.

...

Cassander betrays him and honestly, Hephaistion isn't even surprised. He wakes up in the center of another four-poster bed, one that he knows all too well, and he closes his eyes again.

Maybe the next time he wakes up, this will all just be a dream.

...

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	3. they share a four poster bed

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**03. they share a four poster bed**

...

They move like two halves of a well-oiled machine and Hephaistion hates himself, hates his body (this body that Alexander loves so much, loves to ravish so much) for falling into the routine so seamlessly, yet again. Alexander wakes him with a kiss on the cheek, and right as Hephaistion is about to protest, he presses hard against him and growls something or another, breathily, against Hephaistion's ear.

He tries to shove the other man away, but the anger isn't there - it's never there, not when he needs it most - and Alexander ends up pressing him against the bedroom wall, kissing his lips, ripping the collar off of his dress shirt, lapping against the marks that Cassander had left. He is fervent and he is reverent, sinking all four fingers into the jar of lube as his other hand tears away both their clothes.

Hephaistion hates, hates him, hates him so much, and he doesn't bother hiding this.

"Shh, shh," Alexander says, kissing him again, stealing his breath away, as his slick hand moves from his waist to his backside and he pushes a single finger in. Hephaistion bites down, but this too, he's done before, and Alexander simply opens his mouth, twining their tongues. At some point, Hephaistion realizes he's closed his eyes, and he opens them only for them to roll back as Alexander inserts a second finger, scissoring him wider, and wider still.

The other man's other hand cups the back of his neck, keeping the his skull from crashing against the wall as he lets out a shamefully long groan.

"I know you," Alexander insists, knowing full well that Hephaistion is past the point of coherency. He kisses him again, and again, and again, inserting the third finger and pressing, pressing deep. "I know just what you like."

And Hephaistion wants to protest, Hephaistion _would_ protest, but Alexander is pulling his sticky and sweaty hand out and away, brushing the sweat from Hephaistion's brow. He has no right to look like that, Hephaistion rages, he has no right to brush the hair from his face - from Hephaistion's face - like his heart is racing.

"You know how this goes," he has the gall to murmur against Hephaistion's adam's apple, kissing there too. There's no point in saying it because, yes, of course Hephaistion knows. Even if he forgot, his body would remember.

Alexander lifts his left leg up by the knee, higher and higher still, until the back of his shin rests against Alexander's right shoulder, until Hephaistion's arms find purchase against Alexander's neck. Until he's kissing back, harsh and heartbroken and _tired_. It is like this Alexander slides into him, hissing as if it were the first time, as if Hephaistion didn't know every centimeter of the other man's cock by this point in time.

"I know," he adds, as he begins to thrust, "There is no one who can get you this hard." His fingers skirt the base of Hephaistion's cock, to demonstrate. To tease.

"Fuck you," Hephaistion groans, arching.

"I wish you would," Alexander grunts, picking up the pace. He goes back to kissing Hephaistion, open-mouthed slobbery demonstrations that are more tongue and teeth than actual lips, and each one of them steals his breath away. And it is true and he is right and this is what Hephaistion hates about Alexander the most. That while the other does need him, and does need him on a shorter leash, he needs Alexander too.

"I love you," Hephaistion moans, as if this is enough, as if it were ever enough.

"I know," Alexander, the bastard, says, shifting the angle of his hips upward, as if Hephaistion is a dog to be rewarded. As if -

He sees white and it's equal parts pleasure and fury. Only Alexander is able to make him come like this, pounding his ass without even needing to touch his cock.

"You see," the other man says, because of course he can catch his breath before Hephaistion, "Only I can make you come like this." He kisses Hephaistion's brow then, tongue lolling, lapping away the sweat, before pulling himself out and gently letting the left foot touch the ground. Hephaistion is always compliant and boneless after sex, always ever so slightly shamed, and Alexander takes advantage of this (oh, but doesn't he always) to pull the other man back into the bed, twining their legs and tangling his fingers through golden-brown locks.

"If your love is a shore, my love is the whole ocean," he adds.

And here, Hephaistion hates him because he is both wrong and right, and so much of both that it makes no sense to argue.

Instead, he closes his eyes and sleeps.

...

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	4. there is a call for fruit and for cream

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**04. there is a call for fruit and for cream**

...

He wakes up in the middle of the night and quietly eases himself off the bed. He manages to get his right foot to touch the floor before Alexander wraps an hand around his forearm and bodily yanks him back into bed.

There's a tumble of limbs and a flurry of curses before Alexander stills. He's on top of Hephaistion, straddling the other man's midsection, and they're both under the blankets.

"Alexander," Hephaistion says, "What the fuck was that for?"

"I'm not going to let you go," the other man airily says, kissing the edge of his mouth.

Hephaistion frowns, though it's for naught. Neither of them can see the other in this light.

"I have to go to work tomorrow."

Even under the blankets, Alexander can visibly brighten. He leans forward, kissing Hephaistion's nose, and asks delightedly, "So you took back your resignation? That's wonderful!"

"As if," Hephaistion drawls. He's never been one for self-preservation, much less lies.

Alexander's grip tightens, and Hephaistion absent-mindedly wonders if he'll draw blood, before he loosens it and collapses over the other man.

"Why do you bother? You know I'll find out the name of the company and just buy them out and put you back where you're meant to be soon enough."

Again, he does not need to add.

Instead of responding - because really, what is he supposed to say to that? - Hephaistion makes a move to get out. And again, Alexander catches his arm, both his arms this time, and grinds his hips against Hephaistion's.

"What are you doing," Hephaistion drawls - or rather, tries to, though it is impossible with Alexander's thumbs pressed firmly against his nipples. How he manages to do this without any fumbling, he does not want to consider.

"I'm going to fuck you again," he announces, kissing Hephaistion. "I took a couple days off of work - it's the end of the quarter, after all - and figured I would spend them with you."

"I have to go to work tomorrow," Hephaistion repeats, even as his nipples (and cock) are hardening. Alexander chuckles, a low rumble in his chest that Hephaistion can feel, before kissing Hephaistion's jaw and tracing the shell of Hephaistion's ear with his tongue.

"Why bother?" he grins, reiterating, "Even if they fire you, I'll just buy them out, have them hire you again, and then move you back in the section you're supposed to be in."

At some point, Hephaistion closes his eyes and kisses back, and Alexander thrusts in him again, and they both fall asleep under the same blanket, joined so tightly you could not tell one from the other.

And he hates himself more.

...

In the morning, Alexander feeds him breakfast, then ties each of his limbs to a poster of the bed, eating fruits and whipped cream off of every erogenous zone on his body before proceeding to give him a long, slow, and sloppy blowjob. Hephaistion comes to that, of course, and Alexander slithers back up, claiming his lips in a kiss.

"It isn't so bad, is it?" Alexander asks, green eyes bright. "The two of us. Like this."

No, Hephaistion thinks, as Alexander - the little snit - unties his ankles and works his shoulders underneath Hephaistion's ankles, taking him again, fucking the words right out of his mouth. No, this is worse.

After that, Alexander unties his wrists and massages the rest of his body, and there is easy conversation between the two of them. Like this, Hephaestion thinks, the other man is almost bearable. Almost. And then he'll talk about some miniscule acquisition that will no doubt cost some village their livelihood and Hephaistion feels that same spark of hatred swell up in him again. Alexander catches it, sometimes, but he doesn't say anything.

Hephaistion showers and dresses by himself, glad for the reprieve. He considers stealing a set of clothes and making a run for it. Sure, the estate is spacious, but he had always been able to outrun and overpower Alexander. But then the man himself strides back into the room, a wide smile on his face.

"So I've made reservations for dinner and a show. What are you in the mood for?" He says this like he's bought private box seats for every show in town and, judging by his expression, Hephaestion wouldn't doubt it. He remembers once, when Alexander showed up and dragged him along for the opera, how he had managed to convince him to shove a vibrator up his ass and how, halfway through the second solo, Hephaistion had apparently looked so fuckable that they were billed for semen stains two days later. That was a not altogether unpleasant evening, he will admit.

"I'll fuck you in the private rows without any foreplay this time," Alexander promises, voice soft and low, just the way he knows Hephaistion likes it.

"I told you, I have to go to work today," Hephaistion says, keeping his tone calm.

The other man frowns, as if this is a particularly difficult merger and Hephaistion is the one entirely at fault, and he crosses his arms.

"I've already transferred Eumenes and dismissed Bagoas and left Roxanne, what more do you want me to do?"

"I had no qualm with any of them."

"Is it Perdiccas then? Or Crateros? Cleitus, even?" At least Alexander is prudent enough not to bring up Cassander.

Hephaistion is the one frowning now. He sits down, realizing that he won't be going anywhere soon. "I have no qualm with any of them either."

"Then why won't you come _back_?"

Hephaistion purses his lips and looks away. They were friends before they were lovers and now, to some extent, they are still friends.

"Is it someone else?" Alexander asks.

"No."

"Do _you_ have someone else?"

"Alexander, don't be like this."

"If I don't find and kill him, you know Cassander will."

Hephaistion closes his eyes and tilts his head upwards.

"It's you." he grinds out.

"What?" Alexander, for once, cannot immediately comprehend.

"I'm tired. So very tired, Alexander. I said I would help you rise to chairman in this company, and you did, and you are, and you're a great chairman and I'm happy for you. But I can't spend the rest of my life in your shadow, Alexander. I never wanted to stay at this company for so long."

"Bullshit," Alexander growls, nostrils flaring from his childish temper. Hephaistion groans inwardly - he had thought Alexander had grown out of that habit; apparently, when the problems hit close enough to home, he would revert. "There's someone else who you want to be with more than me."

"There isn't."

"I'll find them, whoever they are. You'll see." He's vicious and spiteful and so very in love, and Hephaistion almost pities him. Almost.

"No, you won't," he says.

Alexander's eyes water, and he falls to his knees, draping himself over Hephaistion.

"Don't be like this, don't be like this to me," he sobs, grabbing Hephaistion's face and kissing him hard. "You know I don't care who you sleep with, so long as you stay close to me. You know I need you more than you need me, you know this."

"Next you'll tell me to bring them here so you can kill them off again," Hephaistion replies, pulling his head back.

"I didn't kill her!"

"Right. You simply put her in a vegetative state."

"I would put the whole world in a vegetative state if it meant you would love me the most." Alexander pauses, contemplating this, and he beams, "You would love me the most then, wouldn't you?"

"I already do," Hephaistion sighs, returning the hug and resting his chin on Alexander's shoulder. "Why else would I forgive you for nearly killing that girl?"

"And I love only you," Alexander replies, eyes bright and wild and _mad_.

Hephaistion sighs again, rolling his eyes, before proceeding to rub Alexander's back, as if they were schoolchildren again. After a while, Alexander does calm down considerably, calm enough that his eyes are closed when Hephaistion presses a kiss to his cheek.

"That was a really good blowjob," he whispers, cheek curving against Alexander's ear.

"I would give it to you everyday if you would stay," Alexander readily says.

"I need you very much too," Hephaistion says, kissing his cheek again, "I always come back, don't I?"

"I don't want you to _leave_," Alexander grinds, tightening his embrace, as if he has ever been able to keep Hephaistion by force.

Hephaistion rolls his eyes and breaks the embrace, reversing their positions in the blink of an eye. Alexander opens his mouth and Hephaistion covers it with his hand, getting down on his knees and sliding between Alexander's thighs. The other man is half hard, he can feel him through the slacks, and he shamelessly presses his nose against the fabric, dragging the zipper down with his teeth. Alexander moans and his fingers tangle in Hephaistion's hair as Hephaistion - using his hands, that is - frees his cock and takes it in his mouth.

He doesn't often give blowjobs, he admits, because he doesn't like the taste or the sensation, but he enjoys receiving them as much as any other hotblooded young man, and for Alexander, he'll make an exception. Alexander cannot hold it in for long, not when Hephaistion's mouth is so hot and wet around him, not when he knows that Hephaistion's getting hard just from sucking his cock. Sure enough, he soon lurches forward, breaths hot against the back of Hephaistion's neck, fingers hanging on for dear life.

Hephaistion closes his eyes and swallows, ignoring the unpleasant taste, before giving the soft member one last suck. He pulls himself off then, and rests his head against Alexander's still-clothed thigh.

Alexander is quick to recover, catching his breath in under a minute. Hephaistion's already pulled his own cock out however, so he slides off the chair and onto the ground, batting his hand away.

He does not need to say anything - because Hephaistion knows.

Hephaistion comes soon enough, the third time before noon, not counting their midnight tussle, and Alexander has to help him to his feet. The other man is such a bastard, Hephaistion thinks, getting him hard and making him come, knowing full well that he had work within hours. Well, strategies be damned, he was getting to where he needed to be, even if he had to crawl to get there!

"What would you like for lunch?" Alexander asks, smile wide and innocent.

Oh, how Hephaistion hates him.

"I need to go to work," he repeats.

"Not like that you're not."

"So are you going to lend me a suit or do I have to seduce it off of you?"

"Well, if you insist..." Alexander begins a mocking little striptease, one that gives Hephaistion a chuckle, however brief.

"Alexander," he interrupts, eyes growing dark, "Either you let me go now and I come back for dinner, or you keep me here until dinner and I overpower you outside."

It is not an empty threat.

"Go then," Alexander says, after a long, hard stare. He crosses his arms and looks away, refusing to succumb to his own insecurities, at least for now, and Hephaistion's heart swells. Perhaps there is still hope for his other half, then.

With moderate difficulty, Hephaistion gets to his feet, nicking a suit from Alexander's extensive wardrobe before striding into the guest bathroom. There's the sound of running water and the rustle of fabric and Alexander takes a deep breath. A series of deep breaths. The door does not lock from the outside, but with some quick thinking, it would be possible to -

The door may not lock from the outside, but it _does_ swing open from the inside. He steps back just in time, and Hephaistion, fully dressed and looking entirely too fuckable, steps out without a hair out of place.

"See you tonight," his only love says, helping himself to an apple by the front entrance fruit pile.

...

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	5. a tie is left out on the balcony

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**05. a tie is left out on the balcony**

...

"What's the matter? Cold feet?" his classmate asks him, after he's excused himself to go dry-heave outside.

He only ever lies to Alexander to protect something, and even then, he needs to be certain that nothing bad will come from it. This is one of those times. He wasn't actually going to work; he was taking sketching classes at a local arts school. It was so low-key even Alexander's agents wouldn't think to search here. It was what he was betting on at least.

They had been warned about this session for weeks: most of the girls had ditched out, and the ones who remained looked sympathetically at him.

He has never seen the bodies of war victims before. Never seen them, but now he recognizes them.

"Hey," the same classmate says, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Are you okay?"

Are you kidding, Hephaistion wants to say. No, I'm not okay because I just found out that the weapons my best friend since kindergarten has been working on as a side project are killing people by the the thousands oh and by the way, we're going to have dinner and a show tonight and he's probably going to fuck me on a balcony while some attractive woman sings. Oh, and if I told you what I was really thinking he would probably think I was trying to seduce you and have you taken away or worse.

"...Just not used to seeing so much flesh and bone," he weakly replies, wiping the spittle from his lips.

"You should have just skipped out," his classmate says, cooing sympathetically, "Your grasp of everything else is good enough. You don't need to draw anything so ugly."

He laughs, it comes out more pleasant than he expected, "Yeah, I guess I will. Tell the teacher I'm sorry, okay? See you next week."

He turns and stumbles off.

...

He ends up helping out at an animal shelter for the rest of the afternoon. The lady who volunteered on the weekdays was a good friend of his mother's, and like all executive spouses, she understood the need to escape into simpler pleasures every now and then.

He has so few reprieves, he's realized this time and again. There's art and there's this shelter and there's the museum of natural history he used to volunteer at throughout middle and high school, and there used to be the bungalow out in the country but now that Cassander knows where it is, he knows it's not entirely his anymore. Moving that four-poster bed up those narrow stairs had been a major pain in the ass, and of course it had been for naught in the end.

The clinic part of the shelter is busy administering vaccinations for various diseases (rabies, most certainly) and it's his job to keep the animals calm before they're led in.

Is this how I look like, he wonders, grabbing onto a cat to keep it from running away.

...

He walks back to the front of the manor a couple minutes before six, and Alexander greets him with a brilliant smile and tight hug.

"Hephaistion! You're right on time," he says, and knowing him, he probably spent the afternoon plotting points on the globe.

My best friend has conquered the known world, from coast to coast and pole to pole, and made it into one horrible agglomeration with no beginning or end, and now he is bored out of his mind, Hephaistion dryly thinks, though he returns the embrace and gives an equally enthusiastic smile.

"Let me change out of these clothes," the ones that are covered with animal hair, "And then we'll be off."

"I'll help," Alexander says, and Hephaistion lets him.

There's a different sort of sensuality in dressing and undressing another person, this, Hephaistion knows full well. He's done it to a couple women and to Alexander, of course, and he loves the slight shiver of skin when the cloth is replaced with air. Alexander likes this too, likes it when Hephaistion is so compliant, an upstanding and obedient mass of muscle and flesh, patiently waiting to be stripped down and rebuilt.

"There," Alexander says, tying a classic Windsor before snaking his arm around Hephaistion's waist so he can bring him in for a kiss. So Hephaistion can feel his erection with his thigh. He passes a quick glance at the full-length mirror, recalling once when they skipped their reservations entirely and Alexander simply fucked him, nice and lazy and slow, in front of said mirror. He feels a twitch pass through his own cock at the reminiscence and he closes his eyes, deepening the kiss before breaking apart.

"After seeing me naked for so long, I think you'd get bored of this."

"Of this?" Alexander echoes, licking his lips - wanting, always _wanting_ - "Never."

...

Alexander books out a private room in The Blue Season, one that's meant for a group of ten, at least, and has it replaced with a two person table. The food comes through the bellhop slot in the wall, and Alexander slips the waiter a pre-emptive tip for an uninterrupted evening.

The meal is rich and the wine is exquisite, and it's only after Hephaistion's biting into the mignon that he realizes he had gone without lunch.

They takes turns getting the food from the slot, and pass the evening making stupid jokes like they did throughout that one math class in high school.

Halfway through dessert, Alexander slips his foot out of his loafer and runs the edge of his toes against his best friend's knee. Hephaistion rolls his eyes, parting his legs before taking a spoonful of his meringue and offering it to Alexander, Alexander, who closes his eyes and wraps his lips around the small spoon, taking it deep enough that his nose touches the knuckle of Hephaistion's index finger. Then he eats it up, so cleanly it was as if the cream and custard were never there, and only then does he open his eyes, running his tongue against his upper lip, as if he hadn't just given half a footjob and stopped there.

They are both hard, then, when they arrive at the Opera, and Alexander is true to his word. The second the lights dim - and this is before the orchestra has even risen out of the pit, he's unfastened his slacks and spat in his hand, pulling down Hephaistion's pants and fingering him against the edge of the balcony.

"I should probably gag you this time, huh," Alexander muses, yanking off his tie and wadding it into a ball. He manages to steal a kiss before wedging it into Hephaistion's mouth, and he thinks he'll just raze the whole opera house to the ground and fuck Hephaistion amongst the ashes, yes, that would be a good end to the evening, except the fires wouldn't light up Hephaistion's face quite the same way as the stage lights do and his blue eyes look so goddamn bright and he doesn't know whether he wants to close them or pull them out or fuck the color from them altogether.

Definitely the latter, he thinks as he pushes in, and it's already the fourth time in under twenty-four hours and only Hephaistion can get him this hard this fast, only Hephaistion can look so goddamn beautiful, with Alexander's cock shoved up his ass, cheeks flushed and legs spread, thighs pressing against the balcony, cock no doubt weeping against the upholstery, hands clenched against the railing.

He says as much, and Hephaistion tilts his head back, letting go of one hand to reach back and claw his fingers through Alexander's hair. Alexander shivers - shivers, because this is Hephaistion and only he can do this to him and _fuck_ - when Hephaistion rolls his hips just like that and he's come, he knows, because his ass clenches just so and Alexander shudders soon too, marveling again at how perfectly they fit together.

Afterwards, when he slides himself out and picks up his tie that Hephaistion's already spat out, using it to clean both of them up, Hephaistion lets Alexander lead him back to the seats. He's always a bit dazed after a good fucking, this Alexander knows full well, and he loves it. Loves that Hephaistion has that refractory delay period because he still looks so fuckable then and even while Alexander is pulling back up his own pants, while he's sitting there, his eyes ever so slightly glazed over, it's all Alexander can do to hold back.

He doesn't of course, not ever, and especially not with Hephaistion, so he sinks to his knees and takes him in his mouth. He lies a lot nowadays, though not to Hephaistion, never to Hephaistion. He loves the taste of his cock in his mouth, loves his dribbling precome and his hot come, spilling into the back of his thoat and out his lips, but he would never spit it out, no, this is another part of Hephaistion, and he loves everything about Hephaistion.

Alexander has gotten him really drunk once, so drunk that Hephaistion doesn't remember the night at all, and then spiked his last drink with a bit of the strongest aphrodisiac the lab had made. He had climbed on top and rode himself to completion at least seven times throughout that night, and wondered for countless times if Hephaistion would ever take him like that, awake.

He thinks about that night and it gets him hard, knowing that Hephaistion, who has so many guards and such high standards, would lower himself down so far, for him. And it's only ever for Alexander, this, Alexander is sure of. This, he makes sure of. Hephaistion comes soon enough, his breath catching and his hips jerking and his blue eyes rolling back and Alexander doesn't even need to _see_ him to be able to see how he looks because this is how close they are, this is how close they have always been.

"I love you," he repeats like a mantra, resting his cheek against Hephaistion's thigh, lapping away the sweat and spittle and come.

He's pulled up and then down for a deep and long kiss, Hephaiston who's just recovered only to be sent over the brink again, and he loves this, Alexander knows, loves feeling that high, coming back down, only to be sent up again. And only Alexander can make him feel like this.

He breaks off the kiss when Hephaistion begins to gasp for air - and he looks so hot, like that, completely undone for him, _because_ of him - and he cleans him up again, properly this time, before sitting down next to him and they watch the rest of the show like good little boys, although at some point Hephaistion reaches over and slides his hand underneath Alexander's slacks and briefs, jacking him off right as the lights go on again.

Only Hephaistion can look so good like that, licking the come from his fingers and then smiling boyishly, blue eyes bright in the proper light, as if Alexander wouldn't press himself so deep that he would feel just as empty as Alexander without him, as if Alexander wasn't going to try anyways.

"We're going to be charged for cleaning," Hephaistion snickers.

"I'll just buy this box," Alexander shrugs. "Since you like it so much."

...

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